Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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