I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
