I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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