We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
