His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
