It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
