Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize