Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
