the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize