Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
