Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
please come you make the beer taste better
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
