Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
