After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Houston, we have a squirter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
