SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
