I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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