dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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