:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
