She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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