no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
