Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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