she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
