are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
