hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I currently don't understand fingers.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
