I must be too annoying 4 u.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
