We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
