so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize