Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
