My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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