I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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