i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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