No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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