I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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