maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
