You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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