I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
