Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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