I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
