She said her name was "party"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
