You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
