We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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