i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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