I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
