I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
