i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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