I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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