i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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