this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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