you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
