It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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