He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just had sex on a roof
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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