I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
