Whats the glycemic index on semen?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
