If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
