So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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