I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
