HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
